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by Landiien

A Lesson in Science and Legend

The very first sentence of this story was found in a list of writing prompts. It was clearly the most awesome.

He looked like a man who played the harmonica. With his bushy moustache, lanky body and dusty cowboy hat, it was no wonder that the patrons of the rave club X-tasty found him a little out of place. For all they knew, he wasn’t there at all - just the hallucination of a wacky cartoon cliché made even less tangible by the constant barrage of light and lasers. The man lowered his cup slowly as a dull rumbling steadily grew over the droning beat of the dance floor.
 
It had found him.
 
The crowd went wild as a massive robot erupted through the wall near the stage and exploded with colors reflecting from its polished metal surface like a deadly, rocket-launching disco ball. The mustachioed stranger licked his lips and wiggled his fingers over his pocket as the DJ killed the music with one final scratch.
 
“So you’ve c-c-caught-up to me at last, Fist-P-P-Pump Machine!” he roared.
 
 
“IT APPEARS SO. YOUR FATE IS 99.98% SEALED SPEECH IMPEDIMENT GOLD PANNER.” came the hollow, electronic response.
 
“Well then, I g….g-g-guess there’s only one thing left to d-… to d-….one thing left to--“
 
“OH GOD SPIT IT OUT WE DO NOT HAVE ALL DAY. I HAVE JUST TAKEN A SCREENSHOT OF YOU AND SAVED IT IN A FOLDER NAMED ‘IDIOT’. LOLOLROFLCOPTRLOLCATS.”
 
“That’s it,” scowled the gold panner, “it’s time to end this! As far as ass-b-b-beatings go, it looks like I’m about to suh-strike g-gold!”
 
With that, the stranger snapped-out a harmonica from a back pocket and spun it up to his mouth as his moustache burst into flames in anticipation of the coming battle. Fist-Pump Machine’s legs and lower body restructured into a series of supports and braces as steam burst from his right forearm and his fist rose slowly from it on a piston.
 
For what seemed like an eternity, the on-looking rave-goers held their breaths and the only sound that could be heard was the crackling of the gold panner’s blazing moustache. Then, simultaneously, the stranger blasted into the instrument of destruction at his lips as the towering robot’s fist dropped, then rose again with a hiss of steam. Both duelists began to build momentum as the earth below trembled and the debris and patrons around them slowly lifted into the air.
 
For miles around, people gazed up in wonder at the sky. Another rainbow was born.